Sound Archive
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| hell.wav | 22KB | "Thank you for coming! I'll see you in hell [gun shots]" | |
| noenglish.wav | 77KB | "I do not speak English." | |
| SargPep.wav | 38KB | Singing: "I'm Seargant Pepper's lonely Hearts Club Man!" | |
| twinky.wav | 37KB | "Silly customer! You cannot hurt a twinky!" | |
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| Burp.wav | 6KB | Barney Burps | |
| stopped.wav | 37KB | "Uh oh, my heart just stopped. . . . . Ah there it goes." | |
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| butt.wav | 30KB | "Why would anyone want to touch a girl's butt?" | |
| damned.wav | 27KB | "You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't." | |
| makeit.wav | 50KB | "It's like he's trying to jump over her, but he can't quite make it . . ." | |
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| dikkity.wav | 73KB | " . . .We had to say dikkity, cause the Kaiser had stolen our word for twenty. . . ." | |
| germpln.wav | 64KB | "I never thought I could shoot down a german plane, but last year I proved myself wrong." | |
| matlock.wav | 22KB | "Maaaaaaatttttlllllooooock!" | |
| outhouse.wav | 19KB | "I'm going to the outhouse." "We don't have an outhouse." "Ahhh, my toolshed!" | |
| outlives.wav | 49KB | ". . .greatest tragedy is when a father outlives his son. I never understood why that is. Frankly, I can see an upside to it! Heh heeh!" | |
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| chalk.wav | 109KB | "Willie, remove all the colored chalk from the classrooms." "I warned ye! Didn't I warn ye! That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself!" | |
| singing.wav | 65KB | Singing: "When life is getting you dowm and your're felling lonely ye can always gooo., Ach! Downtown!" | |
| waters.wav | 111KB | "And that's how Willie waters. Now, you take the hoose . . ." | |
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| Doodoo.wav | 284KB | "All whil everyone else is going 'Doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo'" | |
| IOUdnt.wav | 36KB | "Dear Homer, IOU one emergency donut signed Homer. Bastard! He's always one step ahead of me!" | |
| backkill.wav | 44KB | "All right brain, let's do this so I can get back to killing you with beer." | |
| beer.wav | 16KB | "Oh, there's only one beer left and its Bart's." | |
| beerkill.wav | 131KB | "Oh Lisa, you and your stories: Bart's a vampire. Beer kill's brain cells. Now let's go back to that . . . place, where ours beds and TV. . . is." | |
| bees.wav | 51KB | " . . . Dogs with bes in their mouth so when they bark they shoot bees at you?" | |
| blakjack.wav | 68KB | "19" "Hit me" "20" "Hit me" "21" "Hit me" "22" "D'oh!" | |
| blubber.wav | 41KB | "Woo hoo, look at that blubber fly!" | |
| brndont.wav | 116KB | "We're going to burn this donut to show you how many calories it has." "Nooooooo! It's not fair." | |
| clever.wav | 65KB | "There it is Homer, the cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it." "D'oh!" | |
| comps.wav | 67KB | "When it comes to compliments women are ravenous, bloodsucking monsters always wanting more, more, MORE!" | |
| computer.wav | 21KB | "No time for that now, the computer's starting!" | |
| cube.wav | 162KB | "Here are your messages: You have thirty minutes to move your car. You have ten minutes. Your car has been impounded. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have thirty minutes to move your cube. . . " | |
| devil.wav | 118KB | "I'm smarter than the devil!" | |
| doh.wav | 6KB | "D'oh!" | |
| dream.wav | 37KB | "Kill my boss?!? Do I dare live out the American Dream?" | |
| eatthem.wav | 27KB | "Evil space aliens. Don't eat me: I have a wife and kids! Eat them!" | |
| evilhome.wav | 94KB | Singing: "I am evil Homer! . . ." | |
| flntstne.wav | 99KB | A parody of the Flintstones theme song. | |
| fourweek.wav | 54KB | "The plant called. They said if you don't come in tommorow don't bother coming in Monday." "Woo hoo! Four day Weekend!" | |
| frogurt.wav | 227KB | "Take this object, but beware, it carries a terrible curse." "Oooh, that's bad." "But it comes with a free frogurt . . ." | |
| hoedown.wav | 61KB | "Lisa, never, EVER, stop in the middle of a hoedown." | |
| litlslo.wav | 187KB | "They said I was, get this: A LITTLE SLOW! . . ." | |
| losebran.wav | 17KB | "Me lose brain? Uh oh" | |
| maganim.wav | 129KB | "Dad, those all come from the same animal!" "That's right, Lisa, a wonderful, magical animal." | |
| meow.wav | 45KB | Singing: "Meow meow meow meow." | |
| mrburns.wav | 86KB | "Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me." "All right, Mr. Burns. Uhh, what's your first name?" "I don't know" | |
| muppet.wav | 55KB | "Dad, what's a muppet?" "Welll, it's not quite a mop, and it's not quite a puppet, but maaan. So to answer your question I don'y know." | |
| newmex.wav | 8KB | "Hey, there's a NEW mexico." | |
| nofree.wav | 105KB | "If you want anything in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the winning lottery numbers." | |
| notv.wav | 100KB | "No TV and no beer make Homer something something." "Go crazy?" "Don't mind if I do . . . " | |
| openmoth.wav | 139KB | "'Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." "What does that mean? Better say something or they'll think you're stupid. Takes one to know one! Swish!" | |
| peanut.wav | 209KB | "Twnty dollars! I wanted a peanut!" "Twenty dollars can buy you many peanuts . . ." | |
| plow.wav | 32KB | The Mr. Plow theme song. | |
| poker.wav | 222KB | "They're dogs, and they're playing poker! . . ." | |
| q-tip.wav | 15KB | "Shut up brain or I'll stab you with a Q-tip." | |
| question.wav | 151KB | "You have three questions." "Are you really the head of the Quik-E-Mart?" "Yes" "Really?" "Yes" "You?" "Yes. Thank you, come again." | |
| robot.wav | 39KB | "You'd have to be pretty desparate to make it with a robot." | |
| sandwedg.wav | 105KB | "Oh, quit cogitating, Steinmetz, and use an open faced club -- A sandwedge!" "Mmmm, open-faced club sandwedge" | |
| smart.wav | 133KB | Singing: "I am so smart! S-M-R-T, I mean S-M-A-R-T . . ." | |
| sorny.wav | 45KB | "I know a genuine Panaphonics when I see one. And there's Magnetbox, and Sorny." | |
| stats.wav | 57KB | "All people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of all people know that." | |
| therm.wav | 19KB | "In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!" | |
| thmpsn.wav | 103KB | " . . . Hello, Mr. Thompson." "I think he's talking to you." | |
| tummy.wav | 31KB | Singing: "Yummy, yummy, yummy, I've got love in my tummy, and I feel like loving you." | |
| warning.wav | 57KB | "If you have the fever, there's only one cure. Take two tickets, and see the game Sunday morning." "Warning, tickets should not be taken internally." "See, because of me, now they have a warning." | |
| weasel.wav | 103KB | "Don't discourage the boy, Marge, weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel." | |
| wedding.wav | 34KB | "What is a wedding? Well, Webster's ictionary defines a wedding as: the process of removing weeds from one's garden." | |
| woohoo.wav | 8KB | "Woo hoo!" | |
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| badchecks.wav | 78KB | "Evry time you watch my show, I will send you forty dollars!" "Checks will not be honored." | |
| better.wav | 63KB | "I coulda pulled a better cartoon outta my aa-a-a hey whoa, wasn't that great kids!" | |
| laugh.wav | 36KB | Krusty's laugh. | |
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| atom.wav | 58KB | "Up and atom!" "Up an at them! | |
| nothing.wav | 123KB | "The goggles do nothing!" | |
| silly.wav | 49KB | "My next movie is a mixture of action and comedy. It's called McBain, Let's Get Silly" | |
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| breakleg.wav | 182KB | "Because you don't have any collateral, I'm gonna have to break your legs in advance." | |
| liedetec.wav | 148KB | The lie detector scene in the "Who shot Mr. Burns?" episode | |
| ovrthr.wav | 184KB | "Hey Moe, look over there." "What, what am I looking at? I'm gonna stop looking soon . . ." | |
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| germans.wav | 183KB | "Ooooh, the germans are mad at me . . ." | |
| plague.wav | 120KB | "As punishment for your desertion, it's company policy to give you the plague." | |
| scoop.wav | 65KB | "Give me the ice cream scoop." "Ice cream scoop?" "Damn it, Smithers, this isn't rocket science, it's brain surgury!" | |
| vest.wav | 328KB | This is the entire "See my Vest" Song. It's over two minutes long. | |
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| donefor.wav | 126KB | "We're done for! We're done-diddly-done for . . ." | |
| hidelyho.wav | 18KB | "Hi-delly-ho!" | |
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| 912.wav | 30KB | "No, you have the wrong number. This is 91 . . . 2" | |
| DOA.wav | 279KB | "Mrs. Simpson, I have some bad news: Your husband was found DOA. Oh my God, he's dead! No! I mean DWI . . . I always get those two mixed up." | |
| Drifted.wav | 11KB | "It's a good thing you drifted by this brothel" | |
| Crooked.wav | 88KB | "You know, one day, honest citizens are gonna stand up to you crooked cops. They are! Oh no, have they set a date?" | |
| Infltble.wav | 47KB | "Just get one of those inflatable women, but make sure it's a woman, cause one time I, uh . . ." | |
| Murder.wav | 69KB | "My husband's on a murderous rampage, over. Oh, it's a good thing that's over, I was worried there for a minute." | |
| Pulp.wav | 552KB | A hilarious Pulp Fiction parody | |
| Worm.wav | 107KB | "Miss Hoover! My worm went in my mouth and then I ate it. Can I have a new one?" | |
| english.wav | 32KB | "Me fail English? That's unpossible." | |
| flutin.wav | 66KB | ". . .And Ralph wiggum with a flute up his nose. [flute noises] That's some nice flutin' boy." | |
Miscellaneous | |||
| gladys.wav | 29KB | Troy McClure: "I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such films as, 'Today We Kill, Tommorow We Die,' and 'Gladys, the Groovy Mule.'" | |
| bueno.wav | 26KB | Bee Guy: "Ay! No es bueno! | |
| catch.wav | 288KB | Everybody: This is almost every character's catch phrase. | |
| cosby.wav | 92KB | Bill Cosby: "Hey Kids! Meet Grandpa Murphy!" "But we have three Grandpas already." "This one's a great Jazz musician." | |
| dohdeer.wav | 216KB | Homer, Lisa, and Marge: "D'oh!" "A deer!" "A female deer!" | |
| drnick.wav | 38KB | Dr. Nick: "Hi Everybody!" "Hi, Dr. Nick." | |
| elephant.wav | 189KB | Peanut Factory Manager: "This is the moment we all feared! Many of you thought it would never happen. But I insisted we spend two hours training for it every morning. Many of you requested to me transfered to a different peanut factory . . ." | |
| robotcar.wav | 69KB | Lenny and Carl: "Hey! Look, Homer's got one of those robot cars!" "One of those AMERICAN robot cars." | |
| scratchy.wav | 163KB | The Itchy and Scratchy Theme Song | |
| softball.wav | 444KB | The Softball Song | |
| stoncutt.wav | 473KB | The Stonecutters Theme Song | |
| testes.wav | 20KB | Lunch Lady Doris: "More testicles means more iron." | |
| walletinsp.wav | 79KB | Snake: "Uh, Wallet Inspector" "Here you go, I believe everything's in order." "I can't believe that worked!" | |
| logos.jpg | 32KB | It's the "The Simpsons" logo you see at the top of this page minus the word, "Vault" |
| itchy.gif | 19KB | This is an animated Itchy and Scratchy repeatedly hitting each other with mallets |
| krusty.gif | 1KB | A Krusty the Klown icon |
| lisa89.gif | 7KB | An animated Lisa walking and carrying her saxophone |
| maggie.jpg | 8KB | Maggie standing |
| maggie2.gif | 6KB | Maggie hugging the TV |
| tinyfull.gif | 30KB | Maggie walking (animated) |
| marge2.gif | 3KB | Marge standing |
| newbart.jpg | 10KB | Bart standing |
| wiggum.gif | 1KB | Cheif Wiggum icon |
| apu.gif | 1KB | Apu icon |
| barney.gif | 2KB | Barney icon |
| blvd.jpg | 23KB | A Simpsons parody of a famous painting, Nighthawks |
| board.jpg | 9KB | Bart riding a skateboard |
| body3d.gif | 5KB | Homer in 3D (full body view) |
| car.gif | 39KB | The entire Simpsons family in a car |
| bart-n-g.jpg | 39KB | A Simpsons parody of Michaelangelo |
| donut1.gif | 10KB | Homer eating his donut head (animated) |
| homer3.gif | 2KB | Homer standing |
| grampa.gif | 1KB | Grampa icon |
| ned.gif | 1KB | Ned Flanders icon |
| moe.gif | 1KB | Moe icon |
| burns.gif | 1KB | Mr. Burns icon |
| willy.gif | 1KB | Groundskeeper Willy icon |
Apu
Barney
Bart
Grampa
Groundskeeper Willy
Homer
Krusty the Klown
McBain
Moe
Montgomery Burns
Ned Flanders
The Wiggums
